Jealousy - How To Tame The Green-Eyed Monster

Published: 20th March 2012
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Most people know when they are feeling jealous, but often they struggle with admitting it, as well as knowing how to tame "the green-eyed monster".

Envy really is quite a common feeling. I don't think there are too many people that can honestly say they haven't felt the pangs of it at one time or another in their lives.

You can be jealous over just about anything - relationships, money, success, appearances, time, jobs, cars, sobriety, weight loss, etc.

Whether you are envious of situations, or towards someone or something, your feelings of hurt, inadequacy, anger, resentment, and worthlessness seem to make their way to the forefront of your emotions and "the green-eyed monster" surfaces, and not always in the prettiest of ways.

Pushing away or pretending your feelings aren't there only works for so long, eventually those unwanted emotions surface for you to face.

Remember the saying, "What you resist, persists".

Jealousy, just like any other feeling is offering you an opportunity to learn more about yourself and others.

What you have to gain from these unwanted feelings really can assist you in your personal and spiritual growth, as well as being a more compassionate, loving, and caring person.

Many experiences can produce feelings of jealousy but only one can tame them, and that's you!

As with any emotion, acknowledging it's presence helps put you in touch with what's really going on, and what it is that you need.

Think of a time you experienced jealousy, what were you really feeling?

Maybe you were afraid of losing someone, or you felt like you weren't good enough, or weren`t being heard, or perhaps you felt unlovable, inadequate, or that things were unfair or unjust.

For example, let's say you are envious of someone having a better relationship or job than you. Feeling jealous is the surface feeling but below that, you might really be feeling that you aren't good enough, or you aren't important, or that you don't deserve the best in your life also.

Being jealous is showing you something about yourself. When you admit and accept how you are feeling, then you can move forward in taking care of, loving, and reassuring yourself.

People can assure you all day long, but unless you believe what they are saying then you will continue to negate it.

Often what is required is a good pep talk. A heart to heart with yourself.

Give yourself concrete examples of what you are doubting. For instance, how are lovable in your life? How are you significant? How do you matter? How are you successful, etc.?

Instead of being jealous of others, talk to them. Ask questions. Observe their attitudes and their way of doing things.

Again… unless you deal with the underlying beliefs, then you remain doubtful that it's possible for you to be, or obtain, that which you desire.

Being envious is not going to move you closer to a person, or to having the results or things you would like in your life. In fact, it might do just the opposite.

Taming your feelings is really reassuring yourself. Find positive examples for each of your negative belief.

Notice what you are with-holding, or if you are punishing yourself or others. If you are, stop. This is not helpful but hurtful to you, and to other people.

Ask, and then listen for guidance, it is there. Take the necessary steps to believe in you and your worth.

You deserve the very best. Do you believe it?

Use these techniques with insight to assist you in taming your green-eyed monster, and discovering that which you doubt about yourself.


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Kimberley Cohen is the Founder, Facilitator and Personal Insight Coach
of The Insight Technique. She founded the Insight Technique - Your
Insight to genuine Happiness, Purpose and Prosperity to assist herself
and others in transforming limiting mindsets.

Soar through the limiting beliefs holding you back and experience the freedom of
unlimited possibilities. http://www.TheInsightTechnique.com

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